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 jokes
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come on somebody make me laugh!!!






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[Trixi] Sunday, May 12, 2013 3:34:58 PM 
 
main riff to breakin' the law by Judas Priest using the "meow" setting of my niece's keyboard
 
 

  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by hellrider 31038 from Saturday, March 23, 2013 7:34:35 PM)
[hellrider 31038] Saturday, March 23, 2013 7:34:35 PM 
 SOME OF THE STUFF YOU SEE  AND HEAR AROUND CALLED METAL.LOL
I ALLWAYS SAY TO MYSELF.LIKE FUC? IT IS.

THEY CLEAN IT UP,SOFTEN IT AND NUTURE IT AND CALL IT METAL .

WTF MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN  THAT AINT METAL

KEEP THE METAL ALIVE IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM NOT PARTIAL
HEAR SEE AND FEEL THE METAL TO THE MAX NOT PARTIAL

AMEN
[guidogodoy] Thursday, January 24, 2013 7:13:00 PM 
The pilot of a small freight plane was getting complacent on his phraseology. Every weekday at 2:15 a.m. when stopped at a small airport, he would check in with: "good morning, Jones Field, guess who?" Well, the controller insisted on proper terminology. He lectured the pilot several times to no avail.

One morning the pilot said his usual: "Jones Field, guess who?" The controller then proptly turned off all the airport lights and responded: "Jones Field, guess where?"

From then on, the pilot used proper flight terminology.
[Tyrant] Monday, January 14, 2013 6:42:51 AM 
Quick joke.........

Chuck Norris,  what a joke!

Nuff said....

Never turn your back, on the Ripper! T.O.
[zomby] Wednesday, January 09, 2013 3:51:42 PM 
 confusious have sex in a fireplace is fucking grate
[Stratovarius217] Sunday, July 08, 2012 3:21:54 PM 
www.youtube.com/watch 
[Judas Priest / One For The Road] Wednesday, December 28, 2011 12:20:36 AM 

Confucius say he who stand on toilet, high on pot!!

[HOT ROCKIN' METAL GODDESS] Friday, September 30, 2011 2:11:52 PM 


  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by METALMANJP from Friday, September 30, 2011 8:54:17 AM)
[METALMANJP] Friday, September 30, 2011 8:54:17 AM 
What kind of cologne does Halford wear ? .......ENGLISH LEATHER !
[metalgodess] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 5:01:00 PM 
What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.
[metalgodess] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:58:04 PM 
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
~ This and many other twisted gems can be found on Anti-joke.com - some very sick and funny stuff.  Not for the easily offended. ~
[winged singer] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:34:48 PM 
What's the difference between a wizard's wand and a policeman's baton?

One is good for cunning stunts...........

Edited at: Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:38:08 PM
[_strat_] Sunday, July 24, 2011 3:03:18 PM 
Religions of the world

Taoism - Shit happens
Hare Krishna - Shit happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding
Hinduism - This shit happened before
Islam - If shit happens, take a hostage
Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?
Buddhism - When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism - Confucius say: "Shit happens."
Protestantism - Shit wont happen, if I work harder.
Catholicism - If shit happens, I deserve it.
Jehowahs Witness- Knock, knock, "shit happens".
Mormon - Shit happens again and again and again...
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to me?
Rastafarianism - Lets smoke this shit!

There, and now my own:

Atheism - I cant believe this shit!
[METALMANJP] Wednesday, March 02, 2011 8:41:39 AM 

A female employee goes to the human rescource dept to file a sexual harassment suit. She tells the manager "everyday when I am at the coffee machine this employee comes up and smells the air and say's "God your hair smells good". The manager say's I don't think that constitutes a sexual harassment suit. The female employee replies "Yea but it's Keith the midget !"

[metalgodess] Tuesday, March 01, 2011 4:50:15 PM 

There's a lovely social going on at the nursing home.  Many of the residents are enjoying the dancing and socializing.  One particularly vivacious older gal sees a gentleman in his 80's sitting quietly by himself, and saunters over to him.
"Hiya handsome," she says.  She leans in and whispers, "I can give you Super Sex."
The old guy thinks for a moment, then answers, "I'll take the soup."

[Necroticist] Wednesday, October 20, 2010 8:46:23 AM 
Jokes? yes...Halford 'Made Of Metal' lyrics....honestly....so goddamn lame...prolly written whilst bored on the toilet...is an insult to metal fans worldwide....generic 'give em what they want' CRAP...
[acolyte55] Thursday, August 26, 2010 1:27:55 PM 
a blonde , a priest, a rabbi , and a midget walk into a bar , the bartender looks at them and says " what is this, some kind of f@##*&g joke!!!!
[_strat_] Thursday, August 26, 2010 12:49:47 PM 






[icecreamman] Wednesday, August 18, 2010 6:31:01 PM 
The Final Frontier!

Get it?
[spapad] Monday, March 15, 2010 6:39:12 PM 
Oh my God, poor Dog! lol
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by spiderpig from Monday, March 15, 2010 11:20:12 AM)
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