| [K2M] Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:08:09 PM | |
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Tim Heals the Broken Heart.
Use that emotion and translate it to guitar riff Crafting |
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| [J.D. DIAMOND] Tuesday, August 11, 2009 3:42:56 PM | |
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Yeah Angelic....that is terrible and I wish there was a magic pill to take for these kind of things,but obviously there is not.
I think you said it best when you said: I probably need to accept that the him I fell in love with, never really existed.
That is 100% correct Angelic Storm....he NEVER existed at all.....very cruel to say the least,but this is reality here.
Some people are very shallow and rude......this guy that you are talking about is a very "selfish" person and I know
you don't like hearing this but,he would of been the WORST thing that ever happened to you if you would of married him
or been with him for a couple of years and then he stabbed you in the back....it would of been THAT MUCH worse.
There are no words I can say that will come even close to making you feel better,and thats not why I am posting...
I am posting because its always cool to see that other people have an outlook on what your going through....
This is a very heavy subject and these feelings you have are like a nervous cancerous albatross.....
You will have to suffer with these feelings for a while and there is no escape,none at all......but they
will not last forever. I want to talk to you the first couple weeks of Feb.2010...6 months after this......
and see how your feelings are compared to right now......Angelic Storm...you are going to be ok...
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Tuesday, August 11, 2009 4:25:03 AM)
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Angelic Storm wrote: |
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I have read everyone's responses to me, and wish to thank all of you for your thoughts on this, and your kindness to me.
The fact that he has fallen for someone else is very painful for me, but at least if he had been honest with me from the start, I could have at least maybe accepted that he had some respect for me. Its the lies, leading me on, and seeing her behind my back which is the real kick in the teeth, and why I feel so humiliated and used. I really thought he at least cared about me, and thats what hurts most of all. He just seemed to care only about himself, and what he wanted, never stopped to think about what he was doing to me. I was so close to him, as a friend even before I developed romantic feelings towards him. I can't believe he has done this to me, and treated me so terribly. Though I hate him for what he's done, part of me still loves him, and the thought of him with this other girl is tearing me up inside. I saw my future with him, and he led me to believe that I was his future as well. I dont know if I can forgive him, and even if that is something I need to do to help with the healing process. I am still hurting terribly, and just wish the pain would go away, and that I could stop feeling for him. I feel lost, and am totally empty inside. I probably need to grieve, not just for my feelings, but for the lost friendship, and the loss of the man I once knew. I probably need to accept that the him I fell in love with, never really existed. Part of me doesnt want to admit that, but I think I can only get over this, if I face up to the brutal truth of the matter. He just sees this girl as a better catch, and thats all there is to it. Everything he used to try and justify it, were just excuses, and didnt even make any logical sense, at least not if he felt for me as much as he claimed. The day after he told me, I woke up, and wished that the previous night was just a bad dream, and he didnt really dump me. I guess all I can do, is give it time, and hope the pain subsides. Though right now, it feels like it will never go away :( |
Edited at: Tuesday, August 11, 2009 3:43:28 PM |
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| [Angelic Storm] Tuesday, August 11, 2009 4:25:03 AM | |
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I have read everyone's responses to me, and wish to thank all of you for your thoughts on this, and your kindness to me.
The fact that he has fallen for someone else is very painful for me, but at least if he had been honest with me from the start, I could have at least maybe accepted that he had some respect for me. Its the lies, leading me on, and seeing her behind my back which is the real kick in the teeth, and why I feel so humiliated and used. I really thought he at least cared about me, and thats what hurts most of all. He just seemed to care only about himself, and what he wanted, never stopped to think about what he was doing to me. I was so close to him, as a friend even before I developed romantic feelings towards him. I can't believe he has done this to me, and treated me so terribly. Though I hate him for what he's done, part of me still loves him, and the thought of him with this other girl is tearing me up inside. I saw my future with him, and he led me to believe that I was his future as well. I dont know if I can forgive him, and even if that is something I need to do to help with the healing process. I am still hurting terribly, and just wish the pain would go away, and that I could stop feeling for him. I feel lost, and am totally empty inside. I probably need to grieve, not just for my feelings, but for the lost friendship, and the loss of the man I once knew. I probably need to accept that the him I fell in love with, never really existed. Part of me doesnt want to admit that, but I think I can only get over this, if I face up to the brutal truth of the matter. He just sees this girl as a better catch, and thats all there is to it. Everything he used to try and justify it, were just excuses, and didnt even make any logical sense, at least not if he felt for me as much as he claimed. The day after he told me, I woke up, and wished that the previous night was just a bad dream, and he didnt really dump me. I guess all I can do, is give it time, and hope the pain subsides. Though right now, it feels like it will never go away :(
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| [J.D. DIAMOND] Monday, August 10, 2009 3:49:49 PM | |
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Yes Deep Freeze and Head Banger...you are both correct. I am probably the LAST member anyone would ever expect to reply to a thread like this
but I decided to pop on here and read whats been going on, after I read these posts...I have to say "Angelic Storm"...I am so sorry about your feelings.
Angelic Storm wrote: Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. -------------------
Yes Angelic Storm, it IS HORRIBLE. I'm not saying the everybody goes through this,but 85% of all of us do and have gone through
something like this.....including none other than "myself". 3 years ago I went through the same thing...I got so dumped on my ass
so fast, I didn't even know what hit me Angelic Storm......and I thought everything was 100% fine but obviously it was not...................
did it hurt? Yes it did. Was it the most emotional pain I've ever felt? Yes it was. And I have NEVER disrespected a girlfriend and I
have never "hurt" someones feelings out of disrespect,or on pourpose. So these things happen to some of us that have never even
deserved it,it is just a part of life unfortuately,but it is what it is ya know........I am no different than anybody else and I will say that I know
you don't want to keep hearing this but.....Angelic Storm....it will "heal". Yes it may take a long while...and it will...but you must understand
that only time will make you feel better...is it fair? No it is freaking not. We are all human.......some men out there refuse to admit that they
have had thier heart broken because of thier pride....but if they have gone through something as you have...they are lieing. It sounds like
this asshole who hurt your feelings will get a high doseof "karma"...and not the good kind......somewhere down the road in his life,,,he will
probably get done to him exactly what he did to you. So hang in there my friend and know it is ok to grieve,as a matter of fact...grieving is the
BEST thing TO DO...don't hold anything inside and just know that you will eventually find somebody who loves you for who you really are,and
it will leave the memory of this person who has hurt you deeply in the dust. That guy is disrespectful and he will never change....you deserve
1,000,000,000 times better!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:21:48 AM)
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Angelic Storm wrote: |
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Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
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Bev wrote: |
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Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
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Angelic Storm wrote: |
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It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid 
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Angelic Storm wrote: |
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Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
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Vaillant 3.0 wrote: |
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Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
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Angelic Storm wrote: |
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Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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Edited at: Monday, August 10, 2009 4:00:31 PM |
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| [Head banger] Monday, August 10, 2009 2:47:22 PM | |
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so true. after all, who goes out with the intention to fall in love with a certain person? its never been the way it works for me. it just sort of happens, and you have to do the best you can with it.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Monday, August 10, 2009 1:20:15 PM)| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | I have remained silent on this one up to now but I figure I will go ahead and add my thoughts....
Clearly this is not a gender issue. Not being familiar with either of you makes it difficult to say exactly what went wrong but there is no good reason to treat another human being in such a way. Male or female. There is still something called "common decency" and it would seem your male friend seriously lacks that. Moreover, there is the responsibility of men to act in a gentlemanly manner (Sorry strat, MY opinion!).
It is so hard to really know a person. Even though you spend time with them and think you know them, things happen. People change. Events cause people to act in ways they might not normally act. Who's to say? I do know this; the rules of deceny apply regardless. Treating someone with respect is the key. I also truly believe that we, as humans, simply cannot live our lives in a "guarded" state..., afraid to love or allow someone to get close. We need that closeness. It is part of what we are. We are social creatures. Are there exceptions? Sure. But , by and large, we all need to be needed and loved and desired.
I have been hurt. I have hurt others. Life goes on. I have vowed never to love again, only to find myself head over heels in love when I least expected it. Such is life, my friends. I cannot accept that it is better to live one's life in a state of constant vigilance and denial. I just can't. There is far too much to be gained by living the joy and fufillment of a truly loving relationship. They are out there. You cannot give up. The pain will not last. |
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| [Deep Freeze] Monday, August 10, 2009 1:20:15 PM | |
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I have remained silent on this one up to now but I figure I will go ahead and add my thoughts....
Clearly this is not a gender issue. Not being familiar with either of you makes it difficult to say exactly what went wrong but there is no good reason to treat another human being in such a way. Male or female. There is still something called "common decency" and it would seem your male friend seriously lacks that. Moreover, there is the responsibility of men to act in a gentlemanly manner (Sorry strat, MY opinion!).
It is so hard to really know a person. Even though you spend time with them and think you know them, things happen. People change. Events cause people to act in ways they might not normally act. Who's to say? I do know this; the rules of deceny apply regardless. Treating someone with respect is the key. I also truly believe that we, as humans, simply cannot live our lives in a "guarded" state..., afraid to love or allow someone to get close. We need that closeness. It is part of what we are. We are social creatures. Are there exceptions? Sure. But , by and large, we all need to be needed and loved and desired.
I have been hurt. I have hurt others. Life goes on. I have vowed never to love again, only to find myself head over heels in love when I least expected it. Such is life, my friends. I cannot accept that it is better to live one's life in a state of constant vigilance and denial. I just can't. There is far too much to be gained by living the joy and fufillment of a truly loving relationship. They are out there. You cannot give up. The pain will not last. |
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| [joedraper] Monday, August 10, 2009 12:35:36 PM | |
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PS: Just to clear up: by saying "he is just a man" I mean absolutely no disrespect to the male population. In as much as a woman who does the same thing to a guy would just be a woman. Not worth feeling so negative about yourself as a person over.
There are many wonderful, respectful, gentlemen out there (fortunatley more of that type here than the disrespectful)
If love is ment to be found in a relationship then it will happen. Like Bev and Spapad say, you should not look for it but do not kick it to the curb if it does come your way because to be loved by a respectful man who is deserving of your love is a wonderful thing.
And I do agree with Vail, what is wrong with being single if that is the choice that you feel is right for you? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
However, Vail you are such a charming, beautiful woman, I believe that you will in time, when you are ready to, find yourself in a relationship with a man who will make that battlefield seem like a walk through the park.
There are so many other ways to express and show love: your family, pets, loving people around us.. we are filled with love in life and we should never take that for granted!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by joedraper from Monday, August 10, 2009 12:07:34 PM)| | | joedraper wrote: | | Hey my dear friend, we spoke about this last night, and right now your feelings are very raw and very open. You have had your heart ripped out and you need to grieve, be sad, be angry and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go out and enjoy life.
You are not a bad person. You are way to good to ever settle for being somebody's 'substitute'.
You are worth so much more than this guy. He is just a man. Never let another person define who or what you are.
The only thing that should define you is you and how you live your life.
I hope you find some peace and listen to all the great advice that the caring people of this board are giving to you.
You are never alone. You have us.
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Yep, it will take me a long time, if ever to get over this. Not that he cares...I doubt he can even comprehend how much he's hurt me, or how badly I wanted to be with him. I do blame myself, because I never felt I'd be enough for him. I felt like a consolation prize, like he was just putting up with me, till a better woman came along. He said he liked me, because my personality was a lot like hers. I put it to him that now that the real thing is back in his life, the back up is no longer needed. Though he didnt like the way I put that, he didn't deny it, so obviously I was right. I dont think I could ever be a nice guy's first choice. Im sure he just wanted me because he didnt think he could do any better. I always knew he could do better, and he finally proved me right. I blame myself for the pain Im feeling now, just as much as I blame him, if not even more so.
@Bev: Music has always been the one thing thats kept me going through hard times. But Im finding even that is small comfort to me at the moment. And certain songs, just make me feel even worse. I dont know where to find solace anymore :(
| | | ron h wrote: | | Wow Angelic Storm...I'm really sorry to hear all that's happend to you. Please don't look at what he did to you to be any fault of your own. If we could see into a persons eyes and realize their motives from the start, none of us would ever experience the pain you're feeling right now...but we can't, and unfortunately we've all been there at some point. Please don't talk about yourself in a bad way, it's just not right to blame yourself for anothers' actions!! As was mentioned earlier, there are plenty of dirtbags out there more than willing to take advantage...men and women alike, no avoiding that!! But now your eyes are wide open, and that's a good thing. It's gonna take some time to get over this, it always does...if it didn't, then you'd be no better than him, and I/we can see that you are soooooo much better than that piece of garbage!!!! Keep your head up, dear...sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven...and know you've got plenty of support here whenever you feel the need...
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [joedraper] Monday, August 10, 2009 12:07:34 PM | |
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Hey my dear friend, we spoke about this last night, and right now your feelings are very raw and very open. You have had your heart ripped out and you need to grieve, be sad, be angry and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go out and enjoy life.
You are not a bad person. You are way to good to ever settle for being somebody's 'substitute'.
You are worth so much more than this guy. He is just a man. Never let another person define who or what you are.
The only thing that should define you is you and how you live your life.
I hope you find some peace and listen to all the great advice that the caring people of this board are giving to you.
You are never alone. You have us.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 10:57:01 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Yep, it will take me a long time, if ever to get over this. Not that he cares...I doubt he can even comprehend how much he's hurt me, or how badly I wanted to be with him. I do blame myself, because I never felt I'd be enough for him. I felt like a consolation prize, like he was just putting up with me, till a better woman came along. He said he liked me, because my personality was a lot like hers. I put it to him that now that the real thing is back in his life, the back up is no longer needed. Though he didnt like the way I put that, he didn't deny it, so obviously I was right. I dont think I could ever be a nice guy's first choice. Im sure he just wanted me because he didnt think he could do any better. I always knew he could do better, and he finally proved me right. I blame myself for the pain Im feeling now, just as much as I blame him, if not even more so.
@Bev: Music has always been the one thing thats kept me going through hard times. But Im finding even that is small comfort to me at the moment. And certain songs, just make me feel even worse. I dont know where to find solace anymore :(
| | | ron h wrote: | | Wow Angelic Storm...I'm really sorry to hear all that's happend to you. Please don't look at what he did to you to be any fault of your own. If we could see into a persons eyes and realize their motives from the start, none of us would ever experience the pain you're feeling right now...but we can't, and unfortunately we've all been there at some point. Please don't talk about yourself in a bad way, it's just not right to blame yourself for anothers' actions!! As was mentioned earlier, there are plenty of dirtbags out there more than willing to take advantage...men and women alike, no avoiding that!! But now your eyes are wide open, and that's a good thing. It's gonna take some time to get over this, it always does...if it didn't, then you'd be no better than him, and I/we can see that you are soooooo much better than that piece of garbage!!!! Keep your head up, dear...sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven...and know you've got plenty of support here whenever you feel the need...
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [guidogodoy] Sunday, August 09, 2009 1:54:04 PM | |
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VERY sorry to read all this, Storm. I'm not really sure what I can add that hasn't already been said better than I could but do keep writing and know that you have friends here who really care about you. Most (if not all) of us HAVE been there and, yes, it hurts like hell.
Try not to dwell on things. I know it is tough but it will help if you force yourself to get out and do something.ANYTHING at this point. Go for a run, walk, physical energy to take the mind off of any mental anguish. Even writing here can be therapeautic. As I said and you can see....you have friends here who know that you have some great qualities and if a loser can't figure that out, it is his loss. As others have said, better to figure it out now than years or, heaven forbid, a marriage / kids later.
A big hug to you, my friend.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 10:57:01 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Yep, it will take me a long time, if ever to get over this. Not that he cares...I doubt he can even comprehend how much he's hurt me, or how badly I wanted to be with him. I do blame myself, because I never felt I'd be enough for him. I felt like a consolation prize, like he was just putting up with me, till a better woman came along. He said he liked me, because my personality was a lot like hers. I put it to him that now that the real thing is back in his life, the back up is no longer needed. Though he didnt like the way I put that, he didn't deny it, so obviously I was right. I dont think I could ever be a nice guy's first choice. Im sure he just wanted me because he didnt think he could do any better. I always knew he could do better, and he finally proved me right. I blame myself for the pain Im feeling now, just as much as I blame him, if not even more so.
@Bev: Music has always been the one thing thats kept me going through hard times. But Im finding even that is small comfort to me at the moment. And certain songs, just make me feel even worse. I dont know where to find solace anymore :(
| | | ron h wrote: | | Wow Angelic Storm...I'm really sorry to hear all that's happend to you. Please don't look at what he did to you to be any fault of your own. If we could see into a persons eyes and realize their motives from the start, none of us would ever experience the pain you're feeling right now...but we can't, and unfortunately we've all been there at some point. Please don't talk about yourself in a bad way, it's just not right to blame yourself for anothers' actions!! As was mentioned earlier, there are plenty of dirtbags out there more than willing to take advantage...men and women alike, no avoiding that!! But now your eyes are wide open, and that's a good thing. It's gonna take some time to get over this, it always does...if it didn't, then you'd be no better than him, and I/we can see that you are soooooo much better than that piece of garbage!!!! Keep your head up, dear...sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven...and know you've got plenty of support here whenever you feel the need...
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Angelic Storm] Sunday, August 09, 2009 10:57:01 AM | |
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Yep, it will take me a long time, if ever to get over this. Not that he cares...I doubt he can even comprehend how much he's hurt me, or how badly I wanted to be with him. I do blame myself, because I never felt I'd be enough for him. I felt like a consolation prize, like he was just putting up with me, till a better woman came along. He said he liked me, because my personality was a lot like hers. I put it to him that now that the real thing is back in his life, the back up is no longer needed. Though he didnt like the way I put that, he didn't deny it, so obviously I was right. I dont think I could ever be a nice guy's first choice. Im sure he just wanted me because he didnt think he could do any better. I always knew he could do better, and he finally proved me right. I blame myself for the pain Im feeling now, just as much as I blame him, if not even more so.
@Bev: Music has always been the one thing thats kept me going through hard times. But Im finding even that is small comfort to me at the moment. And certain songs, just make me feel even worse. I dont know where to find solace anymore :(
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ron h from Sunday, August 09, 2009 6:53:21 AM)| | | ron h wrote: | | Wow Angelic Storm...I'm really sorry to hear all that's happend to you. Please don't look at what he did to you to be any fault of your own. If we could see into a persons eyes and realize their motives from the start, none of us would ever experience the pain you're feeling right now...but we can't, and unfortunately we've all been there at some point. Please don't talk about yourself in a bad way, it's just not right to blame yourself for anothers' actions!! As was mentioned earlier, there are plenty of dirtbags out there more than willing to take advantage...men and women alike, no avoiding that!! But now your eyes are wide open, and that's a good thing. It's gonna take some time to get over this, it always does...if it didn't, then you'd be no better than him, and I/we can see that you are soooooo much better than that piece of garbage!!!! Keep your head up, dear...sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven...and know you've got plenty of support here whenever you feel the need...
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [ron h] Sunday, August 09, 2009 6:53:21 AM | |
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Wow Angelic Storm...I'm really sorry to hear all that's happend to you. Please don't look at what he did to you to be any fault of your own. If we could see into a persons eyes and realize their motives from the start, none of us would ever experience the pain you're feeling right now...but we can't, and unfortunately we've all been there at some point. Please don't talk about yourself in a bad way, it's just not right to blame yourself for anothers' actions!! As was mentioned earlier, there are plenty of dirtbags out there more than willing to take advantage...men and women alike, no avoiding that!! But now your eyes are wide open, and that's a good thing. It's gonna take some time to get over this, it always does...if it didn't, then you'd be no better than him, and I/we can see that you are soooooo much better than that piece of garbage!!!! Keep your head up, dear...sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to Heaven...and know you've got plenty of support here whenever you feel the need...
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:21:48 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Bev] Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:43:11 AM | |
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I understand the void all to well ... along with our wishes for your happiness there is one constant that you can turn to - music - it might help the pain subside some. ((hug))
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:21:48 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Angelic Storm] Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:21:48 AM | |
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Well, I did think I wasnt good enough for him. Right at the beginning, I told myself it wouldnt work out, but he convinced me it would, that he did like me, and that we could be together. My gut instinct told me it would end in disaster, but I got carried away by my feelings for him. I guess the problem was, I thought I had found the right man for me, that I would spend my life with. He said he felt the same for me,. but somewhere, that all changed. I am ugly, so it wouldnt surprise me, if he just didnt find me attractive, even though he said I was a nice girl. He said he felt the same for me, but obviously not, if he can drop me like a hot plate as soon as this other girl showed up. He'd obviously been carrying a torch for her, and probably got involved with me without getting rid of those feelings. He excused it by saying "she just dissappeared", which is why he tried to make a go of things with me. But obviously, his feelings for me werent that strong, if he could lose them so easily. Ive never felt like this before, its the most painful thing Ive ever felt in my whole life. I feel so horrible. Before I met him, I was content on my own, I didnt think I needed love in my life. Having feelings for him changed all that, and made me realise that love, and feeling that special bond with someone else was something I actually did want. I wish I could go back to when I didnt know these kinds of feelings, but I cant. I now feel like I have a big void in my life, and I feel even emptier than I did before. Its like having something Ive deep down always wanted, being dangled in my face, and having it snatched away just as I reach out to grab it. I wouldnt say I was happy before I met him, but it didnt really bother me that Id always been single. I just feel lost because I dont know what to do, or how to get rid of this pain :(
Thanks Bev. *hugs*
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Bev from Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:00:58 AM)| | | Bev wrote: | | Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Bev] Sunday, August 09, 2009 5:00:58 AM | |
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Hope you don't mind a little more input ; )
Another way to look at what your intuition was telling you is perhaps not that you were not good enough for him, rather the chemistry simply wasn't there. We're all human. Kind of like when I worked in ops for a large corporation and an executive happened into our department ... if the execs house were burning, it's likely someone of a different social background would be the one to put out the fire and recue the family. OK, maybe not the best analogy. Hope you get my meaning nonetheless. It's all about learning to trust that inner voice, your gut feeling. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on!
Also keep in mind what Vail mentioned. Some are meant to and can live happily without being in a relationship. While there are some who can withstand the pain of heartbreak and fall in Love again ... as long as it's a mutually fulfilling situation, not abuse. Remember there are no cookie cutter relationships so avoid thinking just because your situation isn't like that of another (relative, friend, etc.) there must be something wrong in yours.
All my best! ; )
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 2:33:31 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Becks] Sunday, August 09, 2009 2:53:37 AM | |
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You are not stupid, Angelic Storm. Many a woman has fallen for someone who ends up taking them for granted. I did when I was younger too. It hurts a lot for a while, but the pain eventually subsides. It's NEVER the fault of the woman (or in some cases, man). Unfortunately in life we encounter people who take us for granted. One day you will find someone who accepts you as you are, and loves you as you are. Chin up hun, you're worth more than that guy by a long shot *hugs*
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 2:33:31 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Angelic Storm] Sunday, August 09, 2009 2:33:31 AM | |
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It has...
My intution told me in the first place that I wasn't good enough for him, but he kept saying I was. Then out of the blue, he starts putting me off any time I want to see him, he kept saying we couldnt, and making lame excuses like he cant commit to anyone right now. Turns out some girl from his past reappeared, told him she has feelings for him, he had feelings for her too, and that was it. This on its own, is bad enough, but for months Id been made to feel like this was all my fault, that it was something I did. Completely unaware that he'd been seeing this girl behind my back. He finally came clean last night, and told me what was going on. He said he led me on, and that he is sorry. That Im not worthless, but I dont believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore after he lied to me. I feel like I was just a substitute, till someone better came along. The worst part is, Id really fallen for him, I honestly thought he was the man I was going to spend my life with. More fool me for letting myself believe that I guess. I feel ugly, and useless. I just cant believe he's done this to me. He had low self esteem when I met him, he didnt think any woman could be interested in him. I gave him all my love, and this is how he repays me? He obviously thought I was as good as he could get, as soon as something better is on offer, he just throws me away. I hate myself for being so stupid
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:14:42 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [spapad] Sunday, August 09, 2009 1:32:35 AM | |
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OK, I forgot a key thing when I posted, and it bothered me so bad I got out of bed to post it.
Simple as this.
ANY man who puts you down and tries to make you feel to blame or inferior in ANY way is NO man. He's an inferior! He is more than likely abusive and extremely insecure about himself, and should be steered well clear of.
What is this crap YOU were not good enough for him! Bullshit! He told you that garbage so much you believed it!
Don't ever let someone dictate to you how YOU will feel about yourself! Like Hellrider said. Your well rid of him!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:14:42 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [hellrider 31038] Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:41:06 AM | |
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sorry to hear Angelic Storm.well you sound like a very nice person.its his loss
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Saturday, August 08, 2009 11:42:19 PM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [spapad] Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:23:24 AM | |
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I take it this has been a somewhat recent shock to the system dear. There are some real dirtbags out the there, but in a way you can thank said dirtbag for letting you know what to look out for in the future. If it throws a red flag up for a second with you, it's your intuition telling you he's not the one for you. I have personally gave up looking and will let love come to me if it ever does, but if it does not, that is OK, because I'm old, raising my child and don't really give a shit anymore!
But, trust me. Let your heart heal and you may just find some handsome man wanting to date you, not sweep you off your feet, just get to know you and possibly fall in love! That is up to both of you.
Remember, from now on, you make the decisions and you wont dismiss those red flags you did before.
You'll be fine dear!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Angelic Storm from Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:14:42 AM)| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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| [Angelic Storm] Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:14:42 AM | |
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Dont worry, Ive learned my lesson. I wont be letting myself get close to anyone again. I really thought he loved me, I cant believe I was so stupid to let myself believe that. I wasnt good enough for him, and its that simple. I was a lot better off when I didnt know what being in love felt like, sadly, I cant go back to that. :(
Thank you Valiant.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Vaillant 3.0 from Sunday, August 09, 2009 12:02:01 AM)| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Hope you feel better soon, Angelic Storm. Love is a battlefield, you know? Personally, I'd rather not get myself into that battlefield.
What's wrong with being single, anyway? At least you don't have to worry about feeding another person's mouth. Embrace the independence, I say!
| | | Angelic Storm wrote: | | Ive only fallen in love once, and I wish I never had. I feel used, and humilated. But its my own fault I guess for thinking I had any chance of being with a guy like him. He just took me for what he could get, and ripped my heart up and threw it in the rubbish. I wont be making the same mistake again. :(
I think Im just destined to be alone forever |
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