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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?'  Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They're amazed, but continue to ask. 'So, how did you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I'm 90'.  

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A group of Canadians were traveling by tour bus through Holland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained 'are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in Canada with your old goats?'

A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'