John and the Blonde ...

John walked into a sports bar at 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on.

The news crew was covering a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at John and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"

John says, "You know, I'll bet he jumps."

The blonde says, "Well, I bet he won't"

John placed a twenty on the bar and says, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar the guy takes a swan dive off the ledge of the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset but willingly handed over the $20 saying, "Fair is Fair."

John replied, "I can't take your money.  I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news.  I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again!" 

John took the money ...

Maybe in Silmarillion, IDK... I guess that those who want to see it will see Catholicism in a tea spoon.

In any case, the guy was kidding, and I havent even realised it till I went over it again, and read the disclaimer at the end. Pretty funny stuff, tho, considering that it isnt serious. Then it would be just dumb.

		kiamat wrote:
		I think some people claim there is Christian imagery in Tolkien, or maybe I'm getting it confused with Chronicles of Narnia... I dunno      _strat_ wrote: WTF?!?!?! Lol... Well, I listened to Nightfall in Middle Earth through and through (my favourite album, as it happens), and couldnt find a reference to Catholicism. Elves, orcs and dwarfs galore, but no Catholics...      kiamat wrote: www.last.fm/user/Gjervan/journal/2008/04/25/ppq_the_gay_agenda_uncovered%3A_metal_corrupting_our_youth No words necessary- just...  Edited at: Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:24:43 PM

this is what I want to do if I get the job ROFL

Lol... Uncyclopedia - the well of sick, disturbing shit... Yet funny as hell.

My personal favourite is the screen-full of errors. And that "Attempting to give a damn" thingy.

		adrianaec_88 wrote:
		LMAO!!! I want Windaz!!!! how to fuck around with the settings LOL     (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Monday, February 09, 2009 4:12:00 PM)   _strat_ wrote:   Also, Microsoft has released "Windaz", the special version for Ausies. Here are some of the new features: Edited at: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 7:47:43 PM

For all ye Windows haters out there:

lmao thanks Iam going to send it to him.... Just to piss him off.... LMAO

		adrianaec_88 wrote:
		ok, according to the latest research this would be the definitive one.... LMAO!      MG_Metalgoddess wrote: LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO      adrianaec_88 wrote: lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!      MG_Metalgoddess wrote:

ROFL............

A Christmas Story for People Having a Bad Day

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven k nows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
 
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
 
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
 
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel stuck on top of the Christmas tree  . . . .