You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:18:09 PM)
J.D. DIAMOND wrote:
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
Deep Freeze wrote:
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
Bev wrote:
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
