| [ron h] Wednesday, June 10, 2009 7:54:43 AM | |
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| [pip] Wednesday, June 10, 2009 7:50:54 AM | |
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THE BILL
Donald & Daisy Duck had just gotten married & were on their honeymoon.
Donald was in the mood--but Daisy --not quite ready to start a family yet--asked Donald "Do you have any condoms ?"
Donald says "no I'll go down to the front desk --they're sure to have them for sale there "
Donald goes to the front desk & asks to buy condoms
The desk clerk asks "shall I put them on your bill ?""
Donald yells "pervert !!"
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| [CountessErzebethBathory9] Saturday, June 06, 2009 2:23:20 PM | |
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Nice streets to stay on..
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| [156555464] Saturday, June 06, 2009 2:11:02 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Wednesday, June 03, 2009 6:54:47 PM | |
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| [ron h] Thursday, May 28, 2009 7:02:33 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:36:01 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:35:26 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:34:11 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:32:48 PM | |
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Transvestite cat..lol
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| [Becks] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:30:17 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:28:22 PM | |
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screaming for veng............
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| [kiamat] Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:55:04 AM | |
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This sounds like a punishment system that my school had- for minor rule breaking like having your shirt untucked all the time the teachers would give you a Persistent Infringement Slip, the idea being that if you got more than three, you got a detention. Soon after it was introduced the name was changed to Persistent Infringement Form, due to too many kids taking the P.I.S.
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spapad wrote: |
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Special High Intensity Training or S.H.I.T. for short
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
If you feel that you are not given enough S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list.
Employees who are unable to handle S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. as they are already full of S.H.I.T.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., and qualified you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are proficient in B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. can apply for promotion to the Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
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Edited at: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:55:36 AM |
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| [chileansteel] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 11:13:26 PM | |
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Great guys, you`ve made me laugh !!! LOL   |
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| [spapad] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:05:21 PM | |
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That's a good one Metallark! Noe schitt!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Metallark from Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:01:35 PM)| | | Metallark wrote: | | WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,
and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:02:01 PM Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:02:47 PM
Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:03:29 PM |
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| [Metallark] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:01:35 PM | |
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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,
and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:02:01 PM Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:02:47 PM
Edited at: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:03:29 PM |
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| [ron h] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:39:43 PM | |
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| [spapad] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:45:55 PM | |
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Special High Intensity Training or S.H.I.T. for short
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
If you feel that you are not given enough S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list.
Employees who are unable to handle S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. as they are already full of S.H.I.T.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., and qualified you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are proficient in B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. can apply for promotion to the Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.). |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 3:26:44 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Wednesday, May 27, 2009 3:19:05 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, May 26, 2009 6:54:03 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, May 26, 2009 6:49:19 PM | |
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| [spapad] Sunday, May 24, 2009 12:06:28 PM | |
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| [kiamat] Sunday, May 24, 2009 9:02:20 AM | |
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Because Klingons were baddies in those days and even had dodgy accents so you could tell zey vere rreal baddies. None of these pansy Klingons who are actually members of Starfleet...
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:56:18 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | No. Data is cool. And so is Q. Kirk never had anything to do with Q. And Picard had a Klingon. Did Kirk have a Klingon? No, Kirk didnt have a Klingon. Picard had a cool uniform, very stylish. Did Kirk have a cool uniform, very stylish? No Kirk had a yellow tight shirt.
| | | Head banger wrote: | | data is a rip off mr spock
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Kirk never had a cool android.
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| [_strat_] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:56:18 PM | |
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No. Data is cool. And so is Q. Kirk never had anything to do with Q. And Picard had a Klingon. Did Kirk have a Klingon? No, Kirk didnt have a Klingon. Picard had a cool uniform, very stylish. Did Kirk have a cool uniform, very stylish? No Kirk had a yellow tight shirt.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Head banger from Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:52:25 PM)| | | Head banger wrote: | | data is a rip off mr spock
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Kirk never had a cool android.
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| [Head banger] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:52:25 PM | |
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data is a rip off mr spock
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:49:58 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Kirk never had a cool android.
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| [_strat_] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:49:58 PM | |
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| [Head banger] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:30:03 PM | |
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picard never got anyone to heal the horta
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:27:13 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Well, yeah, they were short. But in Picards days, short skirts gave way to very, VERY tight costumes.
Picard went against borgs. Kirks main opponents were Klingons with bad makeup.
| | | Head banger wrote: | | but..... he.... could.....kick...... some.....ass.....
and the skirts were real short!!!
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Youre right. A real captain would embarrase himself with bad acting.
Is it just me, or is Spock wearing make-up?
| | | Head banger wrote: | | lets not, no real captain would.
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| [_strat_] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:27:13 PM | |
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Well, yeah, they were short. But in Picards days, short skirts gave way to very, VERY tight costumes.
Picard went against borgs. Kirks main opponents were Klingons with bad makeup.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Head banger from Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:52:04 AM)| | | Head banger wrote: | | but..... he.... could.....kick...... some.....ass.....
and the skirts were real short!!!
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Youre right. A real captain would embarrase himself with bad acting.
Is it just me, or is Spock wearing make-up?
| | | Head banger wrote: | | lets not, no real captain would.
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| [Vaillant 3.0] Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:01:23 PM | |
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| [Head banger] Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:52:04 AM | |
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but..... he.... could.....kick...... some.....ass.....
and the skirts were real short!!!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:45:16 AM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Youre right. A real captain would embarrase himself with bad acting.
Is it just me, or is Spock wearing make-up?
| | | Head banger wrote: | | lets not, no real captain would.
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| [_strat_] Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:45:16 AM | |
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Youre right. A real captain would embarrase himself with bad acting.
Is it just me, or is Spock wearing make-up?
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Head banger from Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:38:30 AM)| | | Head banger wrote: | | lets not, no real captain would.
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| [Head banger] Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:38:30 AM | |
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| [_strat_] Saturday, May 23, 2009 10:22:37 AM | |
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| [kiamat] Saturday, May 23, 2009 4:06:57 AM | |
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Ahhh, don't feel bad Picard, just because you were never as awesome as the Kirkmeister. And you never got the girl.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:39:21 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | I feel like bashing Kirk today...
Suuure you are...
Mhm. I wonder who they are talking about? Probably Sulu...
I hope its Kirk, but Im not optimistic...
What? Cant a Vulcan get some privacy?
Guess not...
I agree, captain Picard... |
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| [CountessErzebethBathory9] Friday, May 22, 2009 4:37:36 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, May 22, 2009 4:29:59 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:42:38 PM | |
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thats funny as hell...
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:39:21 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | I feel like bashing Kirk today...
Suuure you are...
Mhm. I wonder who they are talking about? Probably Sulu...
I hope its Kirk, but Im not optimistic...
What? Cant a Vulcan get some privacy?
Guess not...
I agree, captain Picard... |
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| [_strat_] Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:39:21 PM | |
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I feel like bashing Kirk today...
Suuure you are...
Mhm. I wonder who they are talking about? Probably Sulu...
I hope its Kirk, but Im not optimistic...
What? Cant a Vulcan get some privacy?
Guess not...
I agree, captain Picard... |
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| [_strat_] Friday, May 15, 2009 5:20:06 PM | |
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| [adrianaec_88] Friday, May 15, 2009 5:08:34 PM | |
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hahahaha!!!!! his face on the first one
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 09, 2009 4:20:11 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Yup, dont act stupid, you all knew it was coming. Forget lolcats, here is lolBush.
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, May 15, 2009 12:02:23 PM | |
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, May 15, 2009 12:01:09 PM | |
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LMAO
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, May 15, 2009 11:59:42 AM | |
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Igor
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Wednesday, May 13, 2009 6:54:44 PM | |
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LMAO ... |
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| [Head banger] Monday, May 11, 2009 10:17:53 PM | |
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| [kiamat] Monday, May 11, 2009 10:37:28 AM | |
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| [_strat_] Monday, May 11, 2009 10:14:51 AM | |
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Found it!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Monday, May 11, 2009 1:46:48 AM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Theres no site, at least not that I know of. I just went to google/images and searched "lolbush".
In any case, they are hillarious. Im just pissed because I couldnt find the best (dont even remember where I saw it, but it didnt show up on google), where Georgie is making an ass of himself, and his daughter is saying "I can has adoption?"
Yup, in a couple of years, stand up comedians will only need one line to make the audience laugh: "Ehm... The George Bush administration!"
| | | MG_Metalgoddess wrote: | | Gawd leave it up to strat to find us a LOL bush site..... I love it strat!!!!!!!
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Yup, dont act stupid, you all knew it was coming. Forget lolcats, here is lolBush.
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| [_strat_] Monday, May 11, 2009 1:46:48 AM | |
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Theres no site, at least not that I know of. I just went to google/images and searched "lolbush".
In any case, they are hillarious. Im just pissed because I couldnt find the best (dont even remember where I saw it, but it didnt show up on google), where Georgie is making an ass of himself, and his daughter is saying "I can has adoption?"
Yup, in a couple of years, stand up comedians will only need one line to make the audience laugh: "Ehm... The George Bush administration!"
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Sunday, May 10, 2009 6:03:04 PM)| | | MG_Metalgoddess wrote: | | Gawd leave it up to strat to find us a LOL bush site..... I love it strat!!!!!!!
| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Yup, dont act stupid, you all knew it was coming. Forget lolcats, here is lolBush.
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| [~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, May 10, 2009 6:03:04 PM | |
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Gawd leave it up to strat to find us a LOL bush site..... I love it strat!!!!!!!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Saturday, May 09, 2009 4:20:11 PM)| | | _strat_ wrote: | | Yup, dont act stupid, you all knew it was coming. Forget lolcats, here is lolBush.
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