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BOY !! WAS MY FACE RED !!
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ANYTHING EMBARASSING HAPPEN TO YOU---TELL ME !!





   

[mmmmmm] Monday, October 27, 2008 6:30:18 PM 
I agree with you I'm 1 in a million --not all girls get MOOED at when they get on the bus & get off the bus--I BEGGED my brothers to take me to school but they seemed to like the fact that from November til I graduated I got MOOED at--'twas a long school year indeed--but I'm smarter now Thank God --I know better-- well at least where chocolate -white & strawberry milk comes from !!  --up until that point I got straight A's & was the top 3% of the the class of '83 but that brought my IQ right down !!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by spapad from Monday, October 27, 2008 6:24:41 PM)
[spapad] Monday, October 27, 2008 6:24:41 PM 
Lana, Your one in a million girl! LOL 
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Monday, October 27, 2008 6:21:21 PM)
[mmmmmm] Monday, October 27, 2008 6:21:21 PM 
This happened in my teenage years & I just want you all to know I'm a lot brighter now than I was back then but here goes--my Grandpap Pittman owned a farm --had several cows --chickens etc.  Well I always have --always will love chocolate --my grandpa told me when I was 13 that the black & white spotted cows gave the chocolate milk & the brown & white cows gave the white milk --I went to my dear 'ol dad who also told me this so I believed this to be true til I turned 18----I had Farm agriculture in my senior year  & we were talking about pasturizing etc & the teacher asked us students if we knew how the milk got pasturized--well I raised my hand quickly & told the teacher & my class what my Grandpa & my Dad had told me --well needless to say I got laughed at by the whole class room --was MORTIFIED so to speak --in the school bus on the way home the kids mooed at me --yes MOOED at me so when I get home I go crying to my mom & told her what happened & my mom says to me " Well just think about it --if you're told that the black & white cows give us chocolate milk & the brown & white cows give us white milk --where do you think your strawberry milk you drink comes from ??--pink &  white cows?? " --so after her chuckling at me --she finally tells me that both my Grandpa & Dad were just funning me --pulling my leg --that happened around my bday in November so that whole rest of the school year I was MOOED at getting on the bus & getting off the bus
Edited at: Monday, October 27, 2008 6:23:36 PM
[mmmmmm] Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:35:37 AM 
No I guess I'm not ready for the glue factory just yet  !! 
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:28:49 AM)
[ron h] Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:28:49 AM 
♫ ♫ home...home on the raaaange ♫ ♫ wher the deeer and the antelope plaaaay ♫ ♫ 

not yet you're not...
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:08:08 AM)
[mmmmmm] Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:08:08 AM 
I really couldn't slap him as he was the one who helped in the wagon after I sprained somethin' I may need later in life !!
Cougar??  --some days --today more like a horse needing to be put out to pasture   [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:05:37 AM) Edited at: Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:33:32 AM
Edited at: Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:33:59 AM
[ron h] Sunday, October 12, 2008 6:05:37 AM 
...the splits, huh?!...well, I think as we (meaning men) get older, we tend to get wiser...a lesson your new young friend has not learned yet...your such the cougar, aren't you ...getting slapped in the chops a few times will straighten him out!!! 
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Sunday, October 12, 2008 1:44:13 AM)
[mmmmmm] Sunday, October 12, 2008 1:44:13 AM 
Took my 5 nieces on 3 Haunted Hayrides
I was the last one of my group to get on the wagon & my knee was hurtin' so bad from athritis that I decided to stretch my leg by putting my bad leg on the steps & stretching back with my good knee as I was waiting for my nieces to get seated--
well it rained slightly yesterday & the ground was damp so as soon as I put my bad leg up on the step to stretch it out ,my good leg started slipping on the wet grass--now I'm 43 years young & Right hand to God --I haven't done a split since I wasn't picked for the  cheerleading  squad in high school --so I'm not as LIMBER as I once was & needless to say I got stuck in that split position --had a nice young man help me into the wagon--well was a nice young man until he stated "Maam --your daughters are all sitting  on the right side "--now my nieces are all in their 30's & 1 of them is jusy 1 year younger than me --so I came to the conclusion that they either look REALLY young or I look REAALLLLLLYYY old--maybe it was the fact that I was doing a split when God intended for me to keep my knees together --I don't know --but will be throwing my Oil Of Olay away since according to a teenage boy I looked like hell
When will these boys learn to tell white lies about a girl's age --body shape--& weight ??
When we say "does these jeans make my but look bigger ?"--why can't you men lie through your teeth & just say "no"
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:49:57 AM 
Nah...that's cool Necro...it's nice to see ppl up and about and having some fun up here
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Necroticist from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:44:53 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:48:15 AM 
Absolutely no offense taken...hell, that's what made VanHalen, well...VanHalen...the guy did have great pipes, but he's not known for his singing by a long shot...but the total package more than made up for his shortcomings...his style, the way he sang Running With The Devil, then go to Ice Cream Man...he has to be one of the top 5 front men of all-time in my book...and he's not in fifth place either...
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:41:30 AM)
[Necroticist] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:44:53 AM 
O hell - sorry if i turned anything ass side up....no offense meant....
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:42:18 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:42:18 AM 
ps...I was gonna suggest we take this to the Van Halen thread, but it looks like Lana and Necro turned it into an S and M thread
[Deep Freeze] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:41:30 AM 
HA! Yes, I remember it well. I hope you do not take offense but I have always felt that Roth is not all that great of a vocalist, at least not in the purest sense of the word. What David Lee Roth is, is a SHOWMAN. He knows how to work a crowd and pump things up. He has a great gift. He is a lot like Mick Jagger in that respect, and that is a tremendous compliment. Jagger is really not much of a singer as ability goes but he can work a crowd, you know?   [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:37:03 AM)
Edited at: Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:42:17 AM
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:37:03 AM 
Well, I'm taking Greg's word on the name change part.  He's been to the house many times, and once he brought some old photo's of him and his band, so take it for what it is.  What I am sure of is that I thought Van Halen rocked the first time I heard 'em.  It was fun rock, loud and crazy guys, lot's of chick's (to use a term from the day), it was a total party atmosphere!!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:28:06 AM)
[Deep Freeze] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:28:06 AM 
Yes. You know, I was really impressed with them . Amazing band. It seems so long ago. I did not know about the UK band, though! Wow. And I had NO idea that was why they changed their name. Interesting.
[Necroticist] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:24:55 AM 

There's a UK band called Mammoth too - includes John McCoy - used to play bass in 'Gillan' - not sure if they still going....

[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:20:31 AM 
Mammoth was the original name of Van Halen....and...I met a guy on several occasions who was a member of the band Mammoth, for which, I'm told, Van Halen had to change their name because of...
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:14:36 AM)
[Deep Freeze] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:14:36 AM 
HA!!!!!!!!!!!! I can assure you I am quite benign!! The reason I asked is because I am from So Cal and, in or around 1976, some friends and I went to see a band play at a place called the Starlight Ballroom. It was an "under 21" hang out. Anyway, we saw a band that blew us away..KILLER guitarist and a singer with wild blonde hair that was all over the stage. They called themselves "Mammoth". Perhaps you know of them?
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:10:36 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 9:10:36 AM 
I have followed Van Halen since around '77-'78.  I'm from a city in north/west Indiana, about a 20 min.drive from Chicago.  A pleasure to meet you too, Deep Freeze (I hope )
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:45:29 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:48:12 AM 
Van Halen fans know him as 'that one guy'

You get your points back if you promise to never mention his name again  and please don't cry  then I'll feel so bad that I'll have to forgive you for liking Van Hagar better, and I really don't want to do that
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:41:00 AM)
[Deep Freeze] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:45:29 AM 
I am sorry to interrupt but I have a question. Ron, is it? I apologize but we have not met. Nice to have you here with us! Anyway, how long have you followed Van Halen and from whence do you hail?
[mmmmmm] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:41:00 AM 
I jus got pulled over by the "embarrassed" police ??
Now I know why my mom always said to wear clean underwear !!
Oh come on Ron--tell me who else remembers that Gary Cherone was with them  for 1 cd ??
Why must I lose points ??--didn't I just prove I'm a Van Halen fan ??
Don't make me bring out the tears just to get my points back or must I bribe ya ??
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:36:58 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:36:58 AM 
Ahhhh...the "embarrassed" police got you...great work VOM  Well, you're making it easy for him Lana and NO, you don't get credit for NOT naming him  as a matter of fact, you lose points by just remembering his name
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:31:38 AM)
[mmmmmm] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:31:38 AM 

VOM suggested I state that I'm embarrassed because I prefer Sammy Hager over David Lee Roth
but sorry VOM --I tried but I just can't do it --I'm not ashamed
Hey look at it this way --at least I didn't say that the greatest VH lineup was with Gary Cherone--wasn't he with them for 1 cd ??

[mmmmmm] Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:28:46 AM 
Maybe I will go back to that gas station so they can reminde me that I already paid --what a good idea ---it would save a lot of embarrassing moments at all the other gas stations !!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lizash from Friday, October 10, 2008 7:39:44 PM)
[lizash [Banned]] Friday, October 10, 2008 7:53:25 PM 
Oh yeah Ron! Take advantage of the short term memory challenged! LOL
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Friday, October 10, 2008 7:51:49 PM)
[ron h] Friday, October 10, 2008 7:51:49 PM 
I wouldn't mind being in line behind one of ya'll 
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lizash from Friday, October 10, 2008 7:39:44 PM)
[lizash [Banned]] Friday, October 10, 2008 7:39:44 PM 
No need to feel red faced about that! I do that allot! I'm so forgetful that the woman who owns the store where I go reminds me as I leave the store to pump my gas!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Friday, October 10, 2008 8:11:46 AM)
[ron h] Friday, October 10, 2008 6:50:28 PM 

I'm sorry Lana...but that's just too funny I don't want you to feel bad, but it does make me feel better about my day...I'm sorry 


  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by lana from Friday, October 10, 2008 8:11:46 AM)
[mmmmmm] Friday, October 10, 2008 8:11:46 AM 
Now at some gas places you have to pay for the gas before you can pump it --I KNOW this but this morning I paid for my gas -walked to my Tracker & proceeded to pull out without pumping my gas   --I got half way home when I realized what I had done so back to the gas station I went & thankfully they remembered me --of course they would remember me --I was the only one that had done that --I was told !!
Note to self--never venture in that gas station again if I want to save face !!
[jerZgirl] Wednesday, September 24, 2008 11:36:51 AM 
Ok, one more that just happened yesterday.

I was relaxing after I got home from work for a bit before we went into the city to see Halford's Rock in Rio movie...I had just my shirt on and underwear.  No pants because didn't want to spill my dinner on them.  I knew my bf was coming by so i heard a knock at the door and waltzed up (still no pants) and opened the door and there were KIDS that wanted me to buy candy!
[jerZgirl] Wednesday, September 24, 2008 10:10:40 AM 
I was on a work site for the EPA and we took a lunch break at a local pizza place in a strip mall in Milltown, NJ.

I will never forget this...

my partner and I took potty breaks and it was a single restroom...ok no biggie...so my turn came and I shut and locked the door.  Well I gues the lock was broken cuz I was on the toilet and some guy walkes right in!  I screamed very loudly then said "Hey asshole! Learn to knock!"  The whoel pizza place laughed the guy out of there.

Its like-the door was shut-DUH-KNOCK!
[Rorschach] Wednesday, September 24, 2008 9:48:46 AM 
i was cleaning the bathroom at my place of work an old man walked in locked the door and started taking off his pants ready 2 take a dump i book it out off the bathroom to await to finnish cleaning the bathroom when he was finnished he came out and a said "thanks i was in real trouble there"
[jerZgirl] Tuesday, September 23, 2008 11:38:23 PM 
My ringtone is Van Halen's "Unchained".  Its awesome and its loud.
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by loripip from Monday, September 22, 2008 10:15:56 PM)
[Head banger] Monday, September 22, 2008 10:26:17 PM 
I have painkiller on mine, and if too loud, it sure does shock people
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Soylentgreen4u from Monday, September 22, 2008 10:24:41 PM)
[Soylentgreen4u] Monday, September 22, 2008 10:24:41 PM 
....NICE...WISH I'D HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE,JUST TO SEE THE REACTIONS OF OTHERS
    ......DID YOU KNOW YOU PROBABLY CAN FIND PRIEST RINGTONES? ...I 
HAVE "BREAKING THE LAW" ON MINE...
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by loripip from Monday, September 22, 2008 10:15:56 PM)
[crypticangle] Monday, September 22, 2008 10:15:56 PM 
I just purchased my new cell phone as I think I'm the only one in the US who doesn't have one.
For some strange reason I picked Slipknot's Duality as my ring tone ( don't ask me why that song--blonde moment-senile moment etc--any reason will do )
Was out for supper with my brother & NOT knowing I had the volume up as loud as it could be --I received a call in this busy restaurant-----POKE MY FINGERS INTO MY EYES --IT'S THE ONLY  ETC 
well---needless to say scared the stuffin' out of me , my brother &  the whole restaurant--I know some of them thought I was a devil worshiper  !!
[jimmyjames] Wednesday, September 17, 2008 12:14:11 AM 
Years ago i was having a few beers with some guys i was working with and i happend to mention a run in i'd  had with this " bitch ", little did i know that one of the guys i was talking to was engaged to the bitch. He didn't say anything, but a few minutes later a buddy told me about the impending nuptials, i felt so bad but there was nothing i could do. What can you do? " Sorry mate, if i'd known you were engaged to her i would have waited till you weren't around before calling her a bitch "
[paperflowers] Tuesday, September 16, 2008 8:56:53 PM 
When I was 17, I went through this weird phase where I wanted to buy a stainless steel chastity belt. I found a guy who makes them who lived 2hrs away and dragged two very understanding friends in case he turned out to be some nut. When I got home, my mother was waiting for me.

"Did you get it?"

OH FUCK. It turned out I'd left the fetish webpage on Dad's computer and she had read EVERYTHING. Fortunately, I have a very eccentric and easily amused mother. I was not in trouble....until I admitted I'd wrecked the car on the drive back.
Edited at: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 8:57:41 PM
[Rob  Halford88] Tuesday, September 16, 2008 6:52:10 PM 
DAMN! Lucky I had already swallowed my mouthfull of tea then. Thanks for the laugh, that's a classic.
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by loripip from Sunday, September 14, 2008 6:50:33 PM)
[.] Monday, September 15, 2008 6:40:22 AM 
I have an extremely long list...I don't want to remember any  of the events on that list or I would die of embarassment or go back to drinking and smoking.
[crypticangle] Monday, September 15, 2008 4:56:08 AM 
RON --I MAKE THE BEST OUT OF EVERY SITUATION I FIND MYSELF IN--IT WASN'T THAT POOR BOYS FAULT
MY HUBBY & I HAVE HAD SEPERATE BEDROOMS FOR 4 YEARS DUE TO HIS PSYCH MEDS-NO SEX DRIVE 
OH BY THE WAY RON---TALKING OF SEX---DOES AN ICE CUBE BATH WORK FOR GIRLS ?---IF IT DOES CAN I "BORROW" SOME FROM YA ? 
SORRY RON --JUST COULDN'T RESIST THAT ONE ! ! 
TOLD YA I HAVE A WARPED SENSE OF HUMOR  !!   BUT YA GOTTA LOVE ME !! [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Monday, September 15, 2008 4:47:14 AM)
Edited at: Monday, September 15, 2008 5:03:33 AM
[ron h] Monday, September 15, 2008 4:47:14 AM 
Lori, you are the consummate trooper.  Hat's off to you for taking the high road. 
Now, about the 4 yr. thing......   
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by loripip from Sunday, September 14, 2008 6:50:33 PM)
[guidogodoy] Sunday, September 14, 2008 8:25:15 PM 
Haaaa!!! Living in small-town TN, I can realate to the scene! Bwwwahaaaaa!!!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by loripip from Sunday, September 14, 2008 6:50:33 PM)
[crypticangle] Sunday, September 14, 2008 6:50:33 PM 

Am in Kentucky visiting my brother who's having surgery in the morning.
He's not to eat anything past midnight  so his bright idea was to go to a buffet so we could pig out---the restaurant was filled with Sunday evening chuch going folks.
I ordered a soda & when the waiter ( young teenage boy ) brought me a refill, instead of bringing me another glass or even taking the glass I already had & refilling it ,he had a pitcher full of soda & accidentally spilled the pitcher on my lap. . He then proceeded to blot my crotch which made matters worse yet as I'm old enough to be his Mother.
He was embarrassed as was I ,but being the jokester that I am & having the attitude that the glass is half full , I tried to lighten the moment by saying the first thing that popped into my sex-depraved brain.
"Don't worry honey that's the first time in 4 years that I've been wet & sticky down there !!"       
Well his face turned fire engine red as did my brother's , my sister -in-law's & the church going folks.
 But anyone who knows me,knows that my mouth works faster than my brain does & I'm too honest for my own good sometimes. Open mouth ,insert foot on many occasions.
So at that point the meal was pretty much over--did you ever have those sneakers that squeaked when they got wet ?
Well that was me as I was trying to make my not -so-fast getaway  as I was dripping soda down my legs & into my sneakers with every step.  Dignity be damned !!
Needless to say-  I live In Pennsylvania & won't have to worry about seeing those nice Sunday night church going folks on every corner. !! 

[crypticangle] Saturday, September 13, 2008 10:29:48 AM 
Ron--you said you needed a smoke but I bet a drink wouldv've been better !!
I'm glad just your pride was hurt.
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, September 13, 2008 10:21:07 AM)
[ron h] Saturday, September 13, 2008 10:21:07 AM 
I was at a conference this past week at the COBO Center in Detroit MI.  For those of you that have not been there before, escalators are all over the place.
I was there with 2 other people in the exhibit area on the ground floor.
We were about to go up the escalator to the next level when we were stopped by this guy asking for something (I don't remember what).
When I stopped I already had my hand on the moving hand rail (key word moving) when I turned to the guy when he called out to us.  
I'm not sure how I did it, but what happened was, I turned around and evidently leaned up against the railing when it grabbed a hold of the seat of my pants!  For about 5 seconds I was like an upside down turtle with my arms and legs flopping about trying to gain my balance.  It really scared the shit out of me.  I was finally able to 'roll' off (I think wiggle is the more appropriate word) on to the stair side as I surely didn't want to fall the other way.
When I got myself up to the top I just kept walking out the door, I really needed a smoke as I was shaking so bad.  
When Bill and Jaime finally caught up with me they beet red and suffering from hysterical laughter.  Bill says he was looking for the 'emergency stop' button, but I doubt it. 

[crypticangle] Thursday, September 11, 2008 1:59:02 PM 
When I first started driving many moons ago I stopped at a gas station for gas--this one was where you had to pump it yourself--which I had never done before.
So I read the directions & started to pump my own gas --well as soon as I lifted the "lever " the numbers on the pump sped around so fast & I only had  $20 with me so I  stopped pumping after only 4-5 seconds --I waited there at the pump so afraid that I had pumped $ 92 worth ( which was what the pump said ) & after waiting a few seconds this voice comes over the intercom & said " Maam you only pumped  0. 92 gallons "
I was horrified --waited for the ground to swallow me up --so this nice teenage boy came to my rescue & explained to me  "gallons" & the price button.
 I haven't been back to that gas station since then !!
And I can gladly admit that ever since that day I can pump my own gas !!
[Head banger] Wednesday, September 10, 2008 10:42:44 PM 
my boss did something similar, we are a tennant at an airport, and I am on the tenant environmental comittee (which is more dull than watching paint dry if you have no airplanes to de ice or make noise with),  they offered a chance for tenants to get a free environmental audit.  so I emailed the boss, she said it was a fine idea but we need to have our dicks in a row.  I replied "uh, you mean ducks?"
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by momo from Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:23:24 PM)
[momo] Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:23:24 PM 
Years ago I had a job in a small office, just me and the boss, he sold computer hardware, he would stand behind me and tell me what to type on the invoice, I can't type with someone standing behind me. Well he said hard disc, my brains heard hard disc, but my fingers typed hard dick, he went hyterical laughing, I was sooooooo embaressed.
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